Hot Mess: "I'm all wet and it's not the good kind either"

As some of you probably know The Raz just celebrated her 22nd birthday. My birthday was on a Tuesday which meant that I couldn't really get up to anything crazy on the day. Gma's mum was nice enough to organise an awesome mini dinner party for the Tripod and we did the whole cake and candle thing. I don't really like birthdays being made a big deal so it was really nice.

We planned to do the celebrating [read: get wasted] on Thursday because I didn't have uni on Friday and we were too impatient to wait for the weekend. It's really hard to predict how well my bday piss up will go, sometimes the fact that it's my birthday isn't well enough an excuse to get wasted and I don't really feel like partying. Other times the term 'party' is an understatement - Thursday night was one of those nights.

We decided that because I am so volatile we would start with dinner and play it by ear from there onwards with regards to going out for drinks afterwards. Dinner reservations were at 8pm, at 4pm we realise that we're kind of hungry so we walked to the Cross to get a bite to eat. Gma and Char ended up at Pie Face. I ended up at the bottle shop. Fourty-five minutes, three pies and a sixer of Blue Tongue later we're hanging out the windows of our sixth floor, non-smoking room while smoking Alpine cigarettes. Something tells me this is going to be a good night.

Our table isn't ready yet so we wait at the bar, I quickly greet the friends that were already waiting there and order a margarita. Moving to the table marked the beginning of the endless flow of sangria, the eight of us must have had a jug each. The food was taking forever but we didn't mind, we were too busy seeing who could scull their sangria the fastest. The ice and fruit pieces were slowing us down so we used straws for efficiency. Everybody sculled at least three glasses. At this point I had lots of beer, tequila cocktails and cheap wine in my system so it was only natural to start shooting tequila. Things were going well.

sculling action

I noticed that one of my friends needed a refill and being the caring drunk that I am, I picked up a jug of sangria to top up her glass. I missed the glass and got a little on her dress/in her shoe. She was a good sport about it but before I even got to finish slurring my apologies I somehow managed to knock a full glass of sangria into my lap. I watched as the little fruit pieces floated in the newly formed puddle of cheap wine in my lap and looked up only to exclaim "Oh, my crotch is soaked". After posing for a few photos I decided I better go to the ladies and wash the sangria out of my once white shirt, I shared my decision with the group and exclaimed "I'm all wet and it's not the good kind either".

overutilisation of 'peace' sign indicates severe inebriation


It was then that the nice waiter decided that more alcohol was what someone in my state needed and therefore gifted me a free shot of tequila along with permission to don his sombrero. I took a few more pictures just in case my friends didn't already have enough shit on me by that point and then decided that I wanted to keep drinking. Not just any drinks either, I wanted teapots. We went to a bar down the road that had teapots and got two each. From then onwards things got super hazy and I can't recall what happened exactly from then up until the next morning when I woke up in a bed with Char and Gma. I laughed to myself and when Char asked me why I was laughing, I replied:

"I was a hot mess last night"