Just In Case

It's 2 am and in a couple of hours I've got to get up and drive almost an hour to South Sydney. Seeing that I'm a brunette, South Sydney in and of itself scares me sometimes but this time I should be more scared than ever. This time I'm driving to dive with the Grey Nurse Sharks at Magic Point. I'm kind of apprehensive because this is my first dive that I'll be doing as a certified diver which means I won't have an instructor to baby me. Why on earth I chose to do my first open water dive with sharks? I have no idea. Oh wait - I do. I bought some dive gear and I had the option of getting a free gear bag or going on this dive for free. Seeing that I have a little bit of a fascination with sharks I went for the dive. I managed to pressure my ex, who is also my dive buddy, into opting for the shark dive as well. She's not what you would call a coward, not in the least but she is far more cautious than I am so I figured that as long as I was diving with her she would play the role of "scared" and I would be forced to be okay [Am I the only one that thinks this way?].

Anyway, it turns out she can't handle the pressue and has piked on me. Which is kind of good because now I'm not losing sleep over fear of losing my leg but over wondering who I'm going to be partnered up with? Am I going to be a nigel no friends? Why on earth do we have to swim out to the boat from the ramp - hasn't anyone heard of a pier? Speaking of piers, I have cuts all over my legs because someone dared me to jump off a pier while on a short vacay in Port Macquarie. The jumping off part was fun but it was the climbing up old, barnacle covered, splintered wood that kind of sucked. Anyway, so I look like a cutter. The kind of cutters that cut their thighs in order to be discreet, I think Jenny did that on The L Word. Oh, Jenny.

Ok so back to this dive, I figure there is a small chance that maybe something could happen to me. Frankly, I have a better chance of dying while driving to the dive site rather then being attacked by a shark that is the fifth most dangerous shark in the world. There's a catch though, they supposedly have a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde thing going for them where they're docile in the day and psychotic at night. It's safe to say that this isn't a night dive. Ps, I've given myself the permission to ramble in the post. I'm sorry to leave you with such a sloppy piece of work as my [potentially] last ever post but this is who I am. I'm not writing this to be melodramatic, I'm writing this so that if in fact shit does go down I'm not going to be wasting my breath trying to give the paramedic some message to my mom or something - I'm going to be focused on surviving, bitches.

There are a lot of people in my life that [should] know how much they mean to me and then there are others who don't. It's not that they're not special enough it's just that sometimes you can't tell people that kind of shit because frankly it's just too damn weird. [My laptop only has 20 minutes of battery time left and I can't be stuffed running downstairs to get the charger so I've got to cut this bitch short.] It goes without saying that I love my mom and my brother. Especially my mom, as you've all read before, she's super awesome. My brother is a typical annoying teen but he's a good dude at heart, sometimes I judge him for the company he keeps and I know that isn't fair but sometimes I can't help having higher standards for him than I do for others - it's probs an older sister thing because I've met other older sisters that are the same. Then there's Gma, the best friend, the ex, the dive buddy - whatever has happened has happened, mate. You're probs the only person I would be comfortable calling at any given hour of the day for any given thing. Seeing how independant I like to think of myself, that's a pretty big deal. Char - I love you man, you're always the person I go to for the goodtimes, the laughs, the awesome talks. Our unique way of sharing advice by far outsrips anybody elses. Hands down.

Okay and last but not least, you guys. You guys are fucking amazing. I'm not kidding either. The things you write, your ability to transcend the barriers imposed by time and space. It's all awesome. I've actually read some pretty fucking amazing shit by you guys and gotten some pretty sweet insight on all things life. Via e-mail. Via comments. It's all awesome. I'm serious when I say that I blog heart you guys. Keep the good shit coming!

Omg battery dying. Must post. Ahhhhh.