A Tardy Response: Six Unspectacular Quirks

I was tagged with this approximately three months ago. Unfortunately for everyone the tagging coincided with a time where I resented my life and consequently wasn't very comfortable delving into any part of it to vomit it all out on this here blog and then have everyone read what I couldn't even stand to live with. Sounds fabulous, no? But I did promise Monica that I wouldn't forget and do it ASAP. Lo and behold, someone told me three months is a synonym for ASAP so here I go. The rules are as such:

1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they've been tagged.

Steps 1 and 2: done and done

My Six Unspectacular Quirks

Paper or Plastic?

Does anyone remember the days when they asked that? I don't. Maybe they asked me that a couple of times when I lived in the US but never in Australia while I was growing up. Seeing as I am The Queen Bee of retail you can trust me when I say "would you like a bag with that?" is the hot new retail question. Gone are the days where we trusted you to make the right choice between bags. Say hello to the era in which we ever so politely nudge you to make the right fucking decision for the planet, you loon, so say NO to bags! I hate nothing more than when a customer is holding an assortment of bags - plastic, paper, re-usable - and still says yes (!!!!) WHY?? Why do you want yet another bag just for this TINY ornament that I have already secured in tissue paper AND bubble wrap for you? Tell me why you wasteful son of a bitch. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an eco terrorist or anything, I just think that if you already have a few bags with, you don't need yet another one. Capiche? Go green.

I'm naive

In the sense that sometimes I forget that people don't yet know that I never really have bad intentions or get caught up in anything so when people talk to me about something that's bothering them/going on in their exciting lives and then end the conversation with "don't tell anyone this, btw" I'm sort of taken aback. So many things run through my mind, like "why the hell would I?", "who the fuck do you think I am? Gossip Girl?", "why would you have this convo with me if you need a disclaimer" but mainly I just experience sadness for the human race. It's sad that people feel like they need to add these disclaimers to a mundane conversation. Where is the trust? Right here.

Non-judgmental

I totally am. Or better yet: I strive to be. I get that it's natural for us as humans to make snap judgments. We're all guilty of it at one point or another. Sometimes it's these judgments that save us from painstakingly boring conversations or even a potentially dangerous situation with a loon. Howevs, I try to never let any of that shit get in the way of how I think. Even though there are people out there that I would never agree with in a million years, I just can't waste my time passing judgment. Everyone has a reason. Until we learn to stop caring about what other people care about, we're never going to get far.

Waterworks

That's my teenage brother's nickname for me because at times I cry at the drop of a hat and by "at times" I mean when I'm PMSing. It's quite funny actually because it's not like a cry that's the result of anything that's happened to me but rather a cry for others and it's not like a waaa waaa kind of cry but rather a quiet tearing session. Crying may not seem so funny to you but if you knew me and the tough persona I try to maintain, you'd know why the people that love me think it's hilarious. Instances include but are not limited to:

*Witnessing maimed Thai mothers and their children begging on the streets
*Watching Nirvana's With The Lights Out DVD
*After seeing an advertising poster in a toilet cubicle with an old lady expressing her fear of telling her family about her depression because she's afraid of being looked at as a burden

And most recently,

*While watching "CNN Presents: Scream Bloody Murder"

So if I'm PMSing and it's sad, you can bet your life savings that I am going to cry about it.


Can we buy this stuff by the litre?

I know I've mentioned this before but I just have to throw it in again:

I am addicted to Tabasco sauce


Sometimes it hurts and sometimes it doesn't even sting but it's always good. I don't even know what I like better, the pain or the taste. What I do know is that going for the bottle of Tabasco is so second nature to me that I accidentally added it to my oats yesterday instead of honey. Not the best idea.

It's like learning and entertainment all in one

I LOVE DOCUMENTARIES! I am a documentary nerd! Namely, anything to do with the underwater world. This goes hand in hand with my unnatural love for scuba diving. I would take a David Attenborough narrated look at aquatic vertebrate over anything prime time TV can throw at me. I wrangle and manipulate with the people in personnel to swap my shifts into the electrical department because they play David Attenborough's "Planet Earth" series all day long. It's like being paid to be in heaven.

So now that you know six more uninteresting things about me, I have to tag six of you. I don't know many bloggers so my victims are limited to people who blog and also follow me/I follow on twitter. That means Crystal, Riese and Rachel. Hope you can beat my three months!!

FYI

2nd of December, 1:03 am.
I have to be up at 7am tomorrow morning. I don't have to be into work until 9 but I need to do my hair and be ready 45 mine before I usually would be bc I'm having breakfast with Gma (the best friend/ex/the one with the straight girl mind + bull dykes vagina). Why am I having breakfast with her? Because it's her day off and she was kind enough to agree to drive me to work. Why do I need her to drive me to work? Because the evil capitalists at Hornsby Westfield have installed cameras that prevent me from moving my car to make the best use of the first 3 hours of free parking.

30 November, 5am.
I feel derailed. I've been laying in bed for the past four hours, drifting in and out of consciousness. I think I'm sleeping but I'm not. Everytime I close my eyes it feels as though I've been strapped to a giant top and I'm just spinning spinning spinning. All of a sudden I feel the urge to sit straight up in bed. So I do. My instincts provided me with the sense to go to the toilet. In the toilet, all that was vile inside of me a few moments ago was equally vile in front of me. I had decided it okay to rest my forehead on the toilet seat, only noticing after a few moments how I was actually deriving comfort from the most unsanitary of places. I was wrecked yet perplexed. Why on earth do I do this to myself? I showered and went back to bed, only to have to wake up in a few hours to go to work on my way to work I felt like I was rotting from the inside out. I'm tossing up between a full detox or a drastic cut down in consumption.

2nd of December, 1:29 am.
I lay in bed typing on an iPhone with a cracked screen. I can feel the tiny shards of glass slide under my fingers. Why is my phone cracked? I wish I knew. All I can tell you that it happened on either Friday or Saturday night and my state was such that I cannot recall anymore.

2nd of December, 1:32 am.
I'm starting to feel a change in me. It's slightly terrifying. Only slightly.